Funeral Planning
Coming together with family and friends to honor the life and spirit of the deceased is one of the most important steps in the grieving and healing process. At Feldman Memorial, providing a meaningful and memorable service with compassion and deep respect for the traditions, customs and cultures of the families we serve is at the core of our values and why we do what we do. Whatever you choose, Feldman Memorial will help create a unique, personal service that people will remember fondly for years to come.
If funeral pre planning has not been arranged, many decisions need to be made. You may want a traditional funeral or an intimate memorial service, or as some people in Denver and across the country are choosing, have a less traditional, but no less meaningful "celebration of life".
Once the service type and location are decided, you'll select a casket or urn, and pallbearers as needed. You'll also decide who will officiate the service—a religious leader, a family member or friend, or a "celebrant."
Creating a Special Service, Together
Burial Services
Most people who choose Feldman Memorial hold the funeral service in our modern and comfortable venue, but services can be held at any place of your choosing, giving it is available and accommodate your service needs.
We offer the option of having the remains interred (earth burial), or entombed in a crypt inside a mausoleum (above ground burial), as well as "green burial" options.
Family, personal convictions or spiritual traditions are often a factor for choosing one over the other. Further decisions to be made on whether the body needs to be embalmed, what kind of casket to use, what cemetery to use and what to put on the headstone. Your funeral director can help you make informed choices.
Obituaries
Writing an obituary is often a emotional task, but we're here to help make it simpler.
First, you will need to gather information from family and friends of the deceased about their childhood, education, career and hobbies and interests. Ask your funeral director for important information on the date, time and location of the service, and other service-related events.
Using the template provided here as a baseline will help simplify the process and will help you write a meaningful obituary.
Eulogies
How do you sum up a person's life in mere minutes? How do you help mourners remember the complete individual—the spouse, the partner, the parent, the friend, the colleague?
Giving a meaningful, moving eulogy can be overwhelming even for accomplished public speakers. It doesn't have to be. Being chosen to give a eulogy is an honor; it should be treated that way. And it's good for you—writing and delivering a eulogy is a therapeutic tool to help deal with your grief.
Here are some tips for writing and delivering an eloquent and memorable eulogy:
- Gather information. Talk with family members, close friends and co-workers to get important information on the deceased. Include in the eulogy, the person’s family and other close relationships, their education and career, any hobbies or special interests, places the person lived or traveled to, and their special accomplishments.
- Organize your thoughts. Start jotting down your ideas. Include everything at first; you can always edit later. Create an outline of your speech, filling it out with the information you gathered about the person. Keep in mind your time constraints, it’s best to keep things on the short side, especially if there are other speakers.
- Write it down. Don't try to ad-lib a eulogy. It isn't a wedding toast, where off-the-cuff remarks can work (or not). Writing down what you will say is critical, because it allows you to remember every detail. Make sure the copy of your eulogy that you bring to the podium is easy to read—print it out in larger than normal font. For handwritten notes, leave extra spaces between each line.
- Review and revise. Your first draft will not be the last. When you think you are done, sleep on it and look it over in the morning when you are fresh. That will be the time to make any necessary revisions.
- Practice, practice, practice. Read over your eulogy several times in order to become familiar with it. Practice in front of a mirror, read it to friends or family and have them give you feedback. The goal is to become so familiar with your speech that you can deliver it without looking like you’re reading from a script. The more you practice the more comfortable you will be.
- Make them laugh, but be respectful. A funeral is not a roast, however, your eulogy can use appropriate humor. Fondly remember a story about the person that everyone can relate too. There may be children or elderly there that may not share the same sense of humor. Laughter is truly the best medicine, and some well-placed humor will help people cope, and bring back fond memories of the deceased.
- Don't be afraid to show emotion. Funerals are an extremely emotional event, nobody expects you not to shed a few tears. However, if you feel that you will be too strongly overcome by your emotions, have a back-up plan in place where someone you trust can deliver the eulogy for you. Give them a copy well in advance if you feel this could be an issue.
- Prepare the podium. Have a glass of water, as well as tissues handy.
Song Selection
A part of many services, music can play an important part of the grieving process. Music has the ability to help us process our thoughts, provide a sense of comfort and bring back fond memories.
Finding the music that is right for your occasion may come from a familiar playlist or from service participants. We find that these classics often help convey the feelings of warmth and togetherness when honoring a loved one.
Here are some selections for your consideration.
Dance with my Father, Luther Vandross
https://youtu.be/wmDxJrggie8
Don’t Take the Girl, Tim McGraw
https://youtu.be/-vn6QdqxK3g
Small Bump, Ed Sheeran
https://youtu.be/A_af256mnTE
I will Remember You, Sarah McLachlan
https://youtu.be/nSz16ngdsG0
Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright
https://youtu.be/xR0DKOGco_o
Nobody Knows, Tony Rich Project
https://youtu.be/W7EyUY3-Wrg
One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey & Boys II Men
https://youtu.be/UXxRyNvTPr8
Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton
https://youtu.be/JxPj3GAYYZ0
Let it Be, The Beatles
https://youtu.be/cKolD582AVI
Fire and Rain, James Taylor
https://youtu.be/cKolD582AVI
In Loving Memory, Alter Bridge
https://youtu.be/FEwBZegmcXc
Beam Me Up, Pink
https://youtu.be/PFYm9LKsuUo
Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel), Billy Joel
https://youtu.be/dcnd55tLCv8
Stars, Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
https://youtu.be/Ml7TmC__eDc
I’ll Be Missing You, Puff Daddy
https://youtu.be/Ml7TmC__eDc
Gone Too Soon, Daughtry
https://youtu.be/YvpoYxwI08M
How Can I Help You Say Goodbye, Patty Loveless
https://youtu.be/z4F_cXGQN9k
Holes in the Floor of Heaven, Steve Wariner
https://youtu.be/lK3H5cHfgzw
Into the Fire, Bruce Springsteen
https://youtu.be/PKuRGt7LnzU
When I get Where I’m Going, Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton
https://youtu.be/yYHT-TF4KO4
Flowers
Sending or bringing the family a tasteful flower arrangement is thoughtful and appropriate, unless explicitly noted in the obituary or other communications. This may be stated in the form of, “In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to [charity/organization]....”.
To send flowers for any Denver-area funeral service, we confidently recommend these local florists:
Lehrer's Flowers of Denver: a Denver institution since 1920, Leher’s specializes in crafting elegant floral arrangements for life's most important moments. Their team of floral artisans and technical staff will help bring your vision to life.
T: (303) 455-1234 E-mail: customerservice@lehrers.com
Newberry Brothers: One of Denver’s top floral and decor shops, Newberry Brothers specializes in custom floral designs and large themed events. The professional staff has designed and executed arrangements for some of Denver’s most memorable and elaborate events.
T: (303)-322-0443 Address: 5231 Leetsdale Dr, Denver, CO 80246
Monuments
It is customary to mark the final resting place of your loved one with a headstone, monument or a marker style of your choice.
The marker traditionally includes the name of the person who has died, the dates of birth and death and may include other personal information called an epitaph.
Whether you choose a full-burial or cremation, one of the many things you’ll need to decide is how to mark the final resting place.
Monument headstones come in many different shapes and styles, ranging from traditional rectangles to more elaborate designs. We recommend that the selection of a headstone be made at the time of making all of the other arrangements as it often takes between 6 - 8 months for the headstone to be produced.
Erickson Monuments: Providing artistic monuments and stonework in Colorado since 1925, Erickson Monuments offers custom design monuments, pre-need monuments, inscriptions, setting, and cleaning. Providing a variety of options including upright and specialty memorials, flat or bevel markers, the team of artisans and technical staff will craft the monument you envision.
http://www.ericksonmonuments.com
1245 Quivas St. Denver, CO
T: (303-571-5151 E-mail: Info@ericksonmonuments.com
Transportation
Feldman Memorial is proud of the service and responsiveness we provide our families. Typically, families can expect transportation to begin within an hour or two following the death or can be scheduled at a convenient time should you like to spend a little time undisturbed with your loved one.
The care and preparation of of your loved one is done in Denver under the care of Feldman Memorial and will be coordinated as close to the time of transportation as possible.
Family members desiring an out-of-town funeral may want to travel on the same plane as their loved one. Unfortunately, this may not always be possible when traveling from Denver given only certain flights are available for transporting the deceased, and strict TSA timing requirements may make it impossible to arrange for a family escort. However, we will always do everything we can to meet the family’s wishes with regard to flying on the same flight.
Transportation takes place in a specially crafted, sealed container. The purchase of a casket is not required nor allowed.